Posts tagged rape
4:13 pm - Mon, Sep 29, 2014
21,773 notes

I could talk about the PE teacher in my town who was asked to resign due to his harassment of female students, who was then hired as a school bus driver for a rural route with both primary and high school students. I could talk about how, from the age of seven, I refused to wear skirts or dresses, and from the time I entered high school at 10 to when I moved at 16 I always wore bike shorts or CCC shorts under my dress, because he was not particularly subtle about the way he looked at us – and those bus steps are high. I could talk about how this was common knowledge and was never denied by any authority figure we ever raised it with, but rather we were just kind of brushed off. I could talk about how, sometimes, I was the last person on my bus in the afternoon and I was never quite sure if something bad would happen to me, even though for a long time I probably couldn’t have articulated what it was that I feared.

I could talk about how I spent ten years of my childhood believing it was perfectly normal and acceptable for a seven year old child to stop wearing her favourite clothes because a grown man she relies on to get to and from school from a relatively remote location gets a thrill from looking up her skirt.

I could talk about the art teacher at my high school who used to run his hands up and down our backs, right along the spot where your bra sits. Considering most of us were fairly new to wearing bras in the first place, this was a decidedly uncomfortable experience. I could talk about how he used to get just a little too close for comfort in the supply room. Nothing overt, nothing nameable – just enough to make you drag someone else along with you if you needed a fresh piece of paper or you ran out of ink. I could talk about how the odd comment or complaint that was made was completely handwaved, that we were told to be very careful about what we were saying, that we could get someone in a lot of trouble by “starting those kinds of rumours”, and did we really want to be responsible for that?

I could talk about the first time I was made to feel ashamed of my body, at twelve or thirteen, getting into a water fight with my stepfather and uncle in the height of summer. I could talk about my grandmother completely flipping out, talking about how disgusting it was, how grown men should be ashamed of the way they were behaving with a girl. I could talk about how she then spent the next few hours trying to convince me I was being somehow victimised, while I was mostly confused about what had taken place – it took me a long time to work it out. I could talk about the unvoiced but ever-present fear for months afterwards that my grandma would bring it up again, that she would bring it up in the wrong place or to the wrong people and that my uncle, a schoolteacher, would suffer for it.

I could talk about how that destroyed what had been a fantastic relationship with my uncle, and how, ten years later, he still won’t hug me at Christmas.

I could talk about being called a frigid bitch and a slut in the same breath in high school. I could talk about multiple instances of sitting in a big group of friends, hearing someone trying to get into someone else’s pants, starting off sweet enough but quickly descending into emotional manipulation and thinly veiled abuse. I could talk about the time I went off with someone willingly enough and being followed by someone I considered a friend, someone who would not leave no matter how many times I said “no”, who only went away when the person I was with said that he “didn’t feel like sharing”.

I could talk about the family friend who always made me feel a little bit off for no discernible reason. The one who if I was left alone in the room with him, I would always find an excuse to leave. The one time I expressed this, I was told I was being a drama queen, and that I needed to grow up and stop being so precious, that one day I was going to have to deal with people I didn’t like and I might as well get used to it. I could talk about how he never did anything untoward, never gave me any specific reason to feel unsafe – but years after I last saw him, when he was found guilty of four historical sexual assault charges, one of rape and three of indecent assault on girls under twelve, I was, for reasons I still don’t entirely understand, completely unsurprised.

I could talk about my boyfriend justifying his rape of me with “you could have fought me off if you really wanted you, you slut”. I could talk about how, when I tried to tell people, I was told I was being a nasty, spiteful, vindictive bitch. I could talk about how selfish it was of me to say such things, that he’d overcome such a hard life and was going to go on and make something of himself, who the hell was I to try and stand in his way?

I could talk about how my response to being raped was to sleep with anyone and everyone because I rationalised that if I never said no, then no one could force me. I could talk about how I have been told time and time again, by people who should know better, that this is a sign that I wasn’t really raped at all.

I could talk about how, when I finally worked up the courage to make a formal complaint of sexual harassment against my boss, I was asked why I had let it continue for so long, and what I had done to make him think his behaviour would be welcomed.

I could talk about how when a much later boss got me completely wasted at my leaving party, to the point where I couldn’t walk, and fucked me in a back alley, he waited until I was sober the next morning to tell me that he had a pregnant wife, because he heard through the grapevine that I was very strict about not sleeping with married people or straight women, and he thought I should “learn my place” and realise that I’m “not such a high and mighty bitch with a moral high ground after all”.

I could talk about these things, but I very rarely do. Since I was seven years old, I have been told that my body is not my own, that my consent is not my own, that my feelings of discomfort are not my own. I have taught myself to suppress my gut instinct upon meeting people. I have been taught to smile, to be polite, to suck it up if I feel unsafe. When I complain, I have been told I’m being irrational, oversensitive, and selfish. The underlying message is, how dare I try and ascertain any kind of control over my own body?

I should talk about it. But I don’t actually know whether I can.

An anonymous guest post on The Lady Garden. This is the reality for so many women. #YesAllWomen (via takealookatyourlife)

(Source: youtastelike-sunlight, via ceeainthereforthat)

6:02 pm - Thu, Oct 18, 2012
12,826 notes
tavbro:

zeurel:

razorbladesammich:

g-aesthetic:

simply-war:

Oh our government…Truly the most functional and most effective in the world.

REBLOG this and never forget it.

THIS is what frustrates me the most about people who complain that Obama was ineffective. If you consider the childish, playground-bully tactics the GOP adopted, it’s astounding he got as much done as he did.

The land of the free~

i wish i could show this to my dad.

tavbro:

zeurel:

razorbladesammich:

g-aesthetic:

simply-war:

Oh our government…Truly the most functional and most effective in the world.

REBLOG this and never forget it.

THIS is what frustrates me the most about people who complain that Obama was ineffective. If you consider the childish, playground-bully tactics the GOP adopted, it’s astounding he got as much done as he did.

The land of the free~

i wish i could show this to my dad.

(via commodifiedsouls)

5:17 pm - Thu, Aug 30, 2012
7,409 notes
[TRIGGER WARNING: Rape, Sexual assault]

In working on my book, I went to Rwanda in 2004 to interview women who had borne children of rape conceived during the genocide. …At the end of my final interview, I asked the woman I was interviewing whether she had any questions. She paused shyly for a moment. “Well,” she said, a little hesitantly. “You work in this field of psychology.” I nodded. She took a deep breath. “Can you tell me how to love my daughter more?” she asked. “I want to love her so much, and I try my best, but when I look at her I see what happened to me and it interferes.” A tear rolled down her cheek, but her tone turned almost fierce, challenging. “Can you tell me how to love my daughter more?” she repeated.

Perhaps Todd Akin has an answer for her.

“The Legitimate Children of Rape” - Andrew Solomon on the historical relationship between rape and pregnancy: http://nyr.kr/RsAKyQ (via newyorker)

(Source: newyorker.com, via jadelyn)

1:59 pm - Sat, Aug 25, 2012
17 notes

randomactsofchaos:

Paul Ryan on abortion exceptions: Rape is just another ‘method of conception’

paxamericana:

Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan says that he personally believes that rape is just another “method of conception” and not an excuse to allow abortions.

During an interview with WJHL this week, Ryan was asked his view about Rep. Todd Akin, who recently asserted that women could not get pregnant from “legitimate rape.”

“Specifically where you stand when it comes to rape, and when it comes to the issue of should it be legal for a woman to be able to get an abortion if she’s raped?” WJHL reporter Josh Smith wondered.

“I’m very proud of my pro-life record, and I’ve always adopted the idea that, the position that the method of conception doesn’t change the definition of life,” Ryan explained. “But let’s remember, I’m joining the Romney-Ryan ticket. And the president makes policy.”

“And the president, in this case the future President Mitt Romney, has exceptions for rape, incest, and life of the mother, which is a vast improvement of where we are right now.”

MSNBC’s Steve Benen noted that responses like this were probably the reason that Romney is refusing to take any questions about Akin or abortion.

“In this case, when Ryan says ‘the method of conception’ is irrelevant, he’s talking about rape,” Benen wrote. “In other words, the Republicans’ vice presidential nominee clearly believes the government should force women to take their pregnancy to term if they are impregnated by a rapist.”

“Republicans can only distance themselves so much from Todd Akin before we realize they share his views.”

There are no words to describe this rage.

5:42 pm - Fri, Jul 13, 2012
85 notes

shank-flank:

queernonymoose:

quelola:

nuestrahermana:

“Everyone is freaking out, because most of the pilot is about rape,” the source said.

They are working around the clock apparently because it’s supposed to air today at Comic-Con San Diego, California.

“because most of the pilot is about rape

What the fuck kinda show do these people operate? Let’s leave these fuckers out of a job though.

Unless it’s fucking Law and Order SVU or some shit on investigative discovery, there ain’t need to be rape on an animated show.

“MOST OF THE PILOT IS ABOUT RAPE”

(via sillylittleleopardgirl)

5:53 pm - Thu, Jul 12, 2012
10 notes
deadcrackerstorage:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???!!!
(Tumblr bomb this poll, please?)

Fly, pretties

deadcrackerstorage:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???!!!

(Tumblr bomb this poll, please?)

Fly, pretties

(via commodifiedsouls)

3:06 pm - Wed, Jul 11, 2012
440 notes
The problem is it’s like when you give something to a child. They’re always going to figure out how they can get away with a little more.
South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley • In a written statement, explaining her reasoning for slashing the budget of the state’s rape crisis center budget. Crisis centers only help a small portion of residents, and distract from the state health department’s goal of providing treatment to all residents of South Carolina according to Governor Haley. ”Being raped is traumatic enough, but having to navigate that system, going to court by yourself, going to the hospital for a really intrusive and painful exam by yourself is horrific,” counters South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault executive director Pam Jacobs, adding, ”Unfortunately, that’s the solution rape victims may be in if this veto is not overridden.”   source (viafollow)
4:02 pm - Tue, Jul 10, 2012
156 notes

arielnietzsche:

Late last week, South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley (R) vetoed nearly half a million dollars that was slated to go toward domestic violence and sexual assault prevention.

Haley defended the veto, according to the Charleston City Paper, saying that rape and sexual assault prevention programs “distract from” the Department of Health’s mission, and that sexual assault victims are “only a small portion” of South Carolinians who need help:

Haley explained these vetoes in the Department of Health and Environmental Control budget by writing, “Each of these lines attempts to serve a portion of our population for which we extend our sympathy and encouragement, but nevertheless, it is only a small portion of South Carolina’s chronically ill or abused. Overall, these special add-on lines distract from the agency’s broader mission of protecting South Carolina’s public health.”

Sexual assault and domestic violence victims often feel totally alone in the world, so Haley’s consolation that they are only a small portion probably does little good.

That’s not to mention the fact that South Carolina ranks seventh in the country for number of women killed by men, and has had a rate of sexual violence higher than the national average since 1982.

(Source: jayaprada, via randomactsofchaos)

9:37 am - Mon, Jul 9, 2012
93 notes

deadcrackerstorage:

Aside from (a) their pizza sucking, and (b) supporting anti-gay hate, now you can throw (c) a rape joke into the mix.

Yes, that’s a trigger warning for the link.

(via commodifiedsouls)

6:57 pm - Wed, Jun 27, 2012
3,308 notes
The experience of being raped has touched every aspect of my life. People like Ron Rosenberg, the PR head for Tomb Raider, tend to talk about rape like it’s some character-building challenge to overcome, a wound that heals into scar tissue, making you tougher. That’s a fundamental misunderstanding. Rape isn’t a scar, it’s a limp — you carry it with you as long as you’re alive, and it makes life harder, not easier. Being raped does change you: it’s more than non-consensual sex, it’s psychic murder. The person you were beforehand ceases to exist and you can never, ever be them again.

anonymous, “The R Word” (via morecoffee)

The last 2 sentences. Read them over & over & over. They are the most truthful sentences I have seen in years. 

(via missgingerlee)

(via missgingerlee)

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